


Fondly And Without Regret

by aryas_zehral



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comic)
Genre: Epistolary, Future Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-12
Updated: 2010-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-07 05:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aryas_zehral/pseuds/aryas_zehral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles has information to give to Xander and the Council about the future of the Slayers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fondly And Without Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Orig posted at [aryas_zehral](http://aryas-zehral.livejournal.com/tag/writing:%20fanfic) on LJ in May 2008. Was complient with the comics that had come out by that point but is no longer so. Mention of character deaths but not shown or in detail.

Tuesday 27th April, 2038.

Dear Xander,

I am sorry that I was unable to come to visit you over the Easter holidays but pressing matters regarding the Slayers kept me in Bucharest awaiting information from my sources there. As you know, I have, for many years now, been researching the issue of the missing Potentials. As each year passes and we lose more and more of the Slayers without new Slayers being called in their place I, we, have been growing ever more concerned. I am afraid that the 'truth' that has been uncovered by the Romanian Seers is so devastating as to make me almost regret the day I became a Watcher and all the good that I had thought us to have done. I say almost because I cannot regret knowing you children, despite the high cost that may now be extracted.

In the early years of the Slayer Army none of us thought very much about the long term consequences of our actions in Sunnydale. There had, quite frankly, been too many pressing concerns at the time, not to mention our relief at our apparent victory over The First and its army of Turok-Han. The optimism we felt regarding being in our strongest position, historically, with regards to our battle against the dark buoyed us and it was hard to think of negatives. Yes it had been a concern of ours that The First is an eternal entity and, just because we had won this battle it could not be guaranteed that the war was over. We had been on guard for any sign of its return, for any losses that could be attributed to its Bringers, but, as you will remember, there was none. Clearly it knew what we had not and so was merely biding its time while the events we had set in action that day unfolded. After a few years, and with the rise of new, large-scale threats, The First became simply another past enemy and potential future threat.

Willow- oh how hard it is for me not to curse her name for what her foolish, selfish actions have brought about!- had raised questions about the extent of the spell. She could feel it, she said, like a "weird vibey thing". She always did feel that spell, right up until her death, but we decided that it was just an internal awareness, an echo of a spell that had been so primal and so powerful as to have left an indelible mark on its caster. How I wish we had investigated further, not simply dismissed it. I do not believe that we would have found a loophole but I have such a bitter wish that, with the help of our dear Willow, we, I might have been able to find something, some solution, but, alas, it is too late and I am too old and all our best have passed. You and Dawn are all that remain and you shall need to continue to look but, I am afraid, neither of you have the magical affinity that may be required to divine a solution. Furthermore, being the Heads of the Council, as well as parents of small children, other matters will pull you away from the research required. Perhaps there are resources that have become available to the Council since I retired that will be of assistance to you? I can only hope.

I am ashamed to say that it took me almost fifteen yours to fully realise that we potentially had a problem. "Potentially"? It is such an apt word choice that I would be amused if such a feeling did not make me choke, so hard is the lump of bitter heartache in my throat. Potentials were, are, after all, the problem, namely that we had neglected to try and identify them and, when we tried to rectify this, the spells did not work. We did not locate a single girl, only the occasional diffuse, weak, useless signals. Willow and I conjectured that, perhaps, the magics had realigned differently after The Spell. The old methods consequently also needed realigning. Willow was working on it right up until her death nine years ago. She was the fourth of my children to go. After she was gone Andrew took on the task but, as you will be aware, he has had no more luck that she. It is a small comfort that we now know why, if a bitter one.

In 2018 this lack of Potentials was not yet a problem. We still had three quarters of our Slayers, mortality rates having declined drastically with them fighting in groups rather than as lone individuals, and our bases round the world were well manned and well run. You have been such a great organiser, your military knowledge, management skills and adaptability have stood you in good stead through the years. The war however changed all that and, not even your considerable skills, could keep our world wide powerbase tenable when our numbers had halved in less than four years. While you, Dawn and the rest of the Council restructured I claimed the vagaries of old age. Unbeknownst to the Council I set off on my own mission. I had to find out what had happened to the Potentials and how my Slayers could be killed in such numbers and yet not a single new Slayer be called. My hypothesis, if you can call a it such, was that only when we lost our last Slayer would a new one be called, thus restoring the age-old equilibrium. Finally, after six years, I have my answer. My hypothesis was incorrect. It causes me great pain to have to inform you that, once our final Slayer dies, there will be no one to replace her. Perhaps, the Seers say, a Slayer will be called in a few centuries but even that is not certain. What is certain is that there will be a time in the near future when there is no Slayer to fight for the light, to protect the world.

Now you see, my dear friend, why it is that I find myself regretting my part in this situation, why I find myself so angry at Willow's youthful stupidities, why I believe that The First has been merely biding its time. The Spell used up the magic that would have called new Slayers. Each Slayer called on that day is a generation of Slayer that will never be and each empty generation will cause the world to slip further into entropy and chaos, over which The First will reign unopposed. That is our legacy to the world and I am truly sorry. I am deeply regretful of the part I played in it and the fact that any attempt to mitigate this fate must fall now on your and Dawn's shoulders. I cannot help you and, in part, I wish I could have failed in my quest for answers and left you in blissful ignorance. You see, my dear boy, I have one more confession. I am dying. I have known this for quite some time. I have cancer and the treatments are not working. I am old, and I am human, and so I accept that it was inevitable that I would go before you. That is the natural order of things. I just wish... I wish so many things. I wish I was not leaving you with such calamitous tidings. I wish I had it in my power to have things go differently, to be able to fix it. I wish I could see you and Dawn and little Lizzie and An just one more time. I never had children of my own and I have never regretted it. To my mind and heart you children were mine and I loved, I love, you all. I wish you every happiness, a long and full life; I fear that it can never be.

So this is my farewell. This is all I have to say; the truth I have to impart. I am sorry and I hope you will not hate me for being the bearer of such bad news, nor for leaving you at such a time as this. I hope that, one day, you can look back fondly and without regret.

Yours truly,

Rupert Giles.


End file.
